[48], David Benson's 1996 Edinburgh Fringe show, Think No Evil of Us: My Life with Kenneth Williams, saw Benson playing Williams; after touring, the show ran in London's West End. Found more than one record for entered Email, You need to confirm this account before you can sign in. Try again later. Her felt hat saved her from being concussed. At 25, he tried cocaine. On 14 October 1962, Kenneth's father, Charlie Williams, was taken to hospital after drinking carbon tetrachloride that had been stored in a cough-mixture bottle. If you can. That's how old he was when he strangled his great-aunt. When you live a sinful life away from God, anything is possible. Resend Activation Email, Please check the I'm not a robot checkbox, If you want to be a Photo Volunteer you must enter a ZIP Code or select your location on the map. Are you sure that you want to report this flower to administrators as offensive or abusive? Failure to become a serious dramatic actor disappointed him, but his potential as a comic performer gave him his break when he was spotted playing the Dauphin in Bernard Shaw's St Joan in the West End, in 1954 by radio producer Dennis Main Wilson. He also worked with Tony Hancock andKenneth Hornein numerous television shows and radio comedies. The plaque was unveiled on 11 October 2009 by Leslie Phillips, Bill Pertwee and Nicholas Parsons, with whom Williams performed. Thanks for using Find a Grave, if you have any feedback we would love to hear from you. Lou refused to come and live with me when my father died 'No thanks, I want my The lawyer of a convicted killer who was put to death by lethal injection Thursday has . Williams left an estate worth just under 540,000 (equivalent to 1,540,418 in 2021). But for ever after, Florrie Plume walked on the other side of the street. His diaries contain references to unconsummated or barely consummated homosexual dalliances, which he describes as "traditional matters" or "tradiola". She replies: He's clever. She's given up on that. Williams had a half-sister, Alice Patricia "Pat", born in 1923 before his mother had met Charles and three years before Kenneth was born. In 1955 he appeared in Orson Welles's London stage production Moby DickRehearsed. Remove advertising from a memorial by sponsoring it for just $5. Which memorial do you think is a duplicate of Louisa Alexandra Williams (108766639)? According to Williams, he would frequently beat him, his mother, and his brothers. When Kenneth died from an overdose of barbiturates ('my hoard of poison') washed down with alcohol, the coroner brought in an open verdict. To use this feature, use a newer browser. who endlessly told me: 'God can see you if nobody else can'. Kenneth Dewayne Williams (February 23, 1979 - April 27, 2017) [1] was an American serial killer who killed four people in Arkansas and Missouri. You are nearing the transfer limit for memorials managed by Find a Grave. He tells Stevens that Williams was unable to take in what had happened. one block away) and "They shouldn't have women on the show!" Look, Benson, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Find out the cause of death and more exciting information regarding the death of this famous comedian. All photos appear on this tab and here you can update the sort order of photos on memorials you manage. Alongside his Carry On roles, he notched up countless appearances in the radio comedies Round the Horneand Beyond Our Ken, as well as on TV's Hancock's Half Hour. With the publication of Born Brilliant this week, the hidden corners of Williams's life of public comedy and private pain are examined for the first time. His last home was a flat on Osnaburgh Street, Bloomsbury[35] (since demolished).[36]. When Kenneth died in 1988 his will became as much as mystery as the man himself. 894646. No animated GIFs, photos with additional graphics (borders, embellishments. He liked to talk about art and music and philosophy. hurling missiles at my enemies, I was in fact sleep-walking and hurling The coroner's court recorded a verdict of accidental death due to corrosive poisoning by carbon tetrachloride. Resend Activation Email. The outgoing youngster turned angry, rebellious and "was put out of every school in Detroit. "People have always asked me, 'Why did you kill those innocent people?' Contrary to several opinions, I dont believe he was tortured by his sexuality. Stevens's interviews with the two men, who have never sought publicity, have been a key element of his research. But, away from the public gaze, he was racked by his homosexuality, what he saw as the demise of his career and unbearable stomach pains. . 0 cemeteries found in East Finchley, London Borough of Barnet, Greater London, England. on one trip. Kenneth Otis Williams Kenneth Otis Williams, 40, died Monday, June 8, 2009, in Midway, Fla. He often privately criticised and "dripped vitriol" upon the films, considering them beneath him, even though he continued to appear in them. '. But for ever Please contact Find a Grave at [emailprotected] if you need help resetting your password. Learn about how to make the most of a memorial. This browser does not support getting your location. cemeteries found within miles of your location will be saved to your photo volunteer list. [58], For other people named Kenneth Williams, see. English comic actor who is known for his work in 26 films of the Carry On series. [43], Kenneth Williams Unseen by Wes Butters and Russell Davies, the first Williams biography in 15 years, was published in October 2008. funny. He refused to speak to the BBC and instead went out to the cinema, remaining in denial for several months. she scolds. I told her we were going on a banana boat. A system error has occurred. Then we had a good laugh as usual and made up. I dont care., He did care, of course. based on information from your browser. Within 5 kilometers of your location. [8] He was sentenced to death the following day. He had robbed 36-year-old Jerrell Jenkins and shot him twice in the chest with a .357 caliber handgun. WVS twice a week, as she says: Well, I have to help these old people'. But his death at 62 has been a mystery since the night it happened in the early . wouldn't put antiseptic on it, just Fuller's Earth. [51], Williams is commemorated by a blue plaque at the address of his father's barber shop, 57 Marchmont Street, London, where he lived from 1935 to 1956. I owe my bargain-hunting mentality to her. He had a stock of painkilling tablets and it is argued that he would have taken more of them if he had been intending suicide. First he charmed her, then, as the drink and the devil got to him, he appalled her with a stream of the crudest obscenities. I'm not the person I was, I've been transformed. Tonight. 'You're too selfish to share crockery sliding across the table. Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in, Find your bookmarks in your Independent Premium section, under my profile. Kenneth Williams (Kenneth Charles Williams, 1926-1988) was a comic actor and comedian. After his father died, his mother Louisa lived near him, and then in the flat next to his. (He enjoyed entertaining children: he was proud of his appearances on Jackanory.) If you can do it (and its a tough one to imitate: Frankie Howerd is so much easier), theres money to be earned in the voice-over market as a Kenneth Williams sound-alike. She Im not English, Im Welsh." She watches the pennies, does counts the deckchairs. At 27, "that - took me to another place," he says. Quickly see who the memorial is for and when they lived and died and where they are buried. That he died a burden and a disappointment to himself is both sad and wrong, because here we are, thirty years after his death, and for many he seems as potent a presence as ever. But his friends have long refused to believe it. But the truth is that Kenneth Williams, at 62, was at the end of his tether. Sorry! Our national comedy and drama is packed with earthy familiarity and honest vulgarity. He knew it. Williams became the last of four inmates executed in Arkansas in April 2017. I would have denied them until I went to my grave. still does. His roles in Round the Horne included Rambling Syd Rumpo, the eccentric folk singer; Dr Chou En Ginsberg, MA (failed), Oriental criminal mastermind; J. Peasemold Gruntfuttock, telephone heavy breather and dirty old man; and Sandy of the camp couple Julian and Sandy (Julian was played by Hugh Paddick). He then had Robertson take a picture of Hurd with her dress lifted up and her underwear pulled down. What we do as individuals reflects upon our communities. One of his oldest chums was the film director John Schlesinger, who had been with Kenneth, and Stanley Baxter and Peter Nichols, in Combined Services Entertainments in the Far East in the 1940s, putting on those concert parties so brilliantly evoked in Nicholss Privates on Parade. singing After The Ball Is Over, told Lou: 'How very nicely you pressed this Nully died when Williams was just a boy, leading his mother to relocate the . Williams, a trained engraver, worked as a map-maker during the war and listed calligraphy among his hobbies in Who's Who, but his astonishing skill has confounded even Nicolas Barker, a former handwriting expert at the British Museum, who has looked at the diaries. [34], From the mid-1950s, Williams lived in a succession of small rented flats in central London. The one on Osnaburgh Street that he moved into on 3rd August 1972 and died in some time during the long, dark night of 14th April 1988. We have set your language to He knew, too, that he wasnt an easy ride. The latter included material specially written for him by Peter Cook, then a student at Pembroke College, Cambridge. 'Oh. Please, The subscription details associated with this account need to be updated. The bum - its hanging down in pleats!, He was funny and kind (when my father died he wrote me a wonderful letter of consolation, careful and caring) and, contrary to reputation, in my experience not in the least bit mean. Williams was played by Adam Godley in Terry Johnson's play Cleo, Camping, Emmanuelle and Dick, which premiered at the National Theatre in 1998. We live in next-door flats. Stevens now sees the fluctuating styles as the symbol of Williams's subtly distinct moods, moving as they did from disapproving, to intellectual, to schoolboyish or to outright furious. In his cups, he would tell the tale of his exciting encounter with a young Sikh in Ceylon, in a coconut grove in Kurunegala. cemeteries found in Morgantown, Monongalia County, West Virginia, USA will be saved to your photo volunteer list.. cemeteries found within miles of your location will be saved to your photo volunteer list.. cemeteries found within kilometers of your location will be saved to your photo volunteer list.. Barbara Windsor, one of his oldest friends, insisted at the inquest that there was. We have noticed that there is an issue with your subscription billing details. Lou's been around the world with I felt guilty about his death because I knew that I was one (of several) of his friends who had given up on him. He moved in and out of several foster homes and juvenile reform schools. Youre old enough and ugly enough. Perhaps not surprisingly, Charlies business didnt prosper. vanished, wide-eyed with alarm. She received none of the 500,000 he left in his will. Kenneth believed his father had committed suicide, because the circumstances leading to the poisoning seemed unlikely to have happened by bad luck. "[6], While on death row, Williams became an ordained minister. The problem, I sensed, was that, at Johns, Alan Bennett was part of the party and was so delightful, so gently droll, that Kenneth couldnt cope with the competition and couldnt bear himself for seeing it as competition. Learn from my mistakes. I was a friend of Kenneth Williams - not a best friend, but what he called a good chum and, over several years, quite a close one: we collaborated on the books he wrote, spent hundreds of hours in one anothers company, shared countless meals, train journeys, trips to the cinema - so when, thirty years ago now, on the night of 14 April 1988, he took his own life, I felt a sense of real loss and sadness. Ten thou for one evening of my old tat! he gasped. As a tiny thing I was put up The mother of Kenneth Williams. An email has been sent to the person who requested the photo informing them that you have fulfilled their request, There is an open photo request for this memorial. August 17, 2022 CelebsWhoDied Kenneth Williams reached the respectable age of 62 years. catchphrase) became popular with listeners. Want to bookmark your favourite articles and stories to read or reference later? 2021 Cwmbran Life - Website formed by Alliance. How Nanci Griffith Died: Cause of Death, Age at Death, and More! [44], The first of the programmes said that, towards the end of his life and struggling with depression and ill health, Williams abandoned Christianity following discussions with the poet Philip Larkin. The final words in the journal he kept so conscientiously for more than forty years summed it up: ' - oh - what's the bloody point?' [30] He also narrated and provided all of the voices for the BBC children's cartoon Willo the Wisp (1981). On December 18, 1998, Williams was charged with one count of capital murder, one count of attempted capital murder, two counts of kidnapping, two counts of aggravated robbery, two counts of theft of property, and one count of arson. People need to be peppered or even outraged occasionally. Stick to your own colour. Williams had been brought up a Wesleyan and then a Methodist, though he spent much of his life struggling with Christianity's teachings on homosexuality. Playing mostly funny voice roles, Williams stayed in the series almost to the end, five years later. Williams' father abused his wife and his children. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. Originally sentenced to life without parole in Arkansas for killing a cheerleader in 1998, Williams escaped from prison in a 500-gallon barrel of pig slop in 1999. Yes, he was outrageous, waspish, wickedly funny, and often wicked simply to be funny. [24] This became the case with many of the films and shows in which he appeared. With his sharp jutting features, flaring nostrils and hysterical voice, Kenneth Williams was unmistakeable in life. As a community, we are supposed to love one another and work together as one. Mum and dad met autobiography, Just Williams. He was born in King's Cross, London, where his father kept a hairdresser's shop. before proclaiming "Mymryn bach o Gymru, Cymru fydd, Cymru sydd Cymru am byth!" these men, they'll take you up an alley . on the kitchen table while she scrubbed round it and sang Are You Lonesome Kenneth R. "Nully" Williams and music teacher Vandelia Perry. In 2005, he confessed to committing another murder in 1998. Kenneth, who had never got on well with his father, refused to visit him. How Joe Besser Died: Cause of Death, Age at Death, and More! On television, he co-hosted his own TV variety series on BBC2 with the Young Generation entitled Meanwhile, On BBC2, which ran for 10 episodes from 17 April 1971. In his diaries, Williams wrote that he earned more in a St Ivel advert than for any Carry On film, although he was still earning the average Briton's annual salary in a year for the latter. Would you like to be my dressers' Lou still says that she He initially expressed frustration over his death sentence, saying "I thought: Have they forgotten I am human, or do they just not care? discovered later we d sliced another ship in half and sunk it. Here's the story of Williams, how he ended up on death row, who the people he killed were and . Within 5 miles of your location. How Chris Penn Died: Date of Death, Age of Death, Birthday, and More! His African-American family has significant roots. Twenty days before his execution, he wrote an article for The Marshall Project. - IMDb Mini Biography By: frankfob2@yahoo.com good Lord for what she has been sent. Without God being in my life, I never would have confessed to these crimes. On the card he had written: Are you still there? I wasnt. How Gump Worsley Died: Date of Death, Age of Death, Birthday, and More. He was convicted of all of the charges. Mentally yes, spiritually yes, physically no, was his sober answer. Speaking at the ceremony, his Carry On co-star Barbara Windsor said: "Kenny was a one off, a true original". As they drove, Williams repeatedly told the couple he would not hurt them. Despite the success and recognition the show brought him, Williams considered theatre, film and television to be superior forms of entertainment. I was lost," he said. (English: A little bit of Wales, Wales will be, Wales is Wales forever! "[13][14] A year later, Williams would describe a debate in Ireland when he was told he had some nerve showing his "English face in Dublin". Williams went on holidays to Morocco with Orton and his lover, Kenneth Halliwell. [27] He once talked for almost a minute about a supposed Austrian psychiatrist called Heinrich Swartzberg, correctly guessing that the show's creator, Ian Messiter, had just made the name up.[28]. [14] Kenneth Williams' last meal consisted of two pieces of fried chicken with a side of sweet rice, BBQ pinto beans, a slice of bread, a peanut butter cookie, and a cinnamon roll.[15]. Oh, the lav seat crashed down I humbly beg you your forgiveness, and pray you find the peace, healing, and closure, you all deserve. Just months before he died he wrote: "All that is on my mind now is the way to commit suicide: it has got to be efficient and in a place where nobody is inconvenienced." John Gielgud - one of the pantheon of Kenneths heroes, along with Laurence Olivier, Noel Coward, Orson Welles and Kenneth Horne - defined the attributes necessary to a star performer as energy, an athletic voice, a well-graced manner, some unusually fascinating originality of temperament; vitality, certainly, and an ability to convey an impression of beauty or ugliness as the part demands, as well as authority and a sense of style. Kenneth had all the qualifications then, yet as the years went by the offers of work on stage and screen grew fewer and less interesting. Williams wrote in red pen when discussing his health and in blue when he had dramatic news, for example. He knew he had painted himself into a corner. The captain, officers and passengers [12] Williams was born in Norfolk, Virginia, to the Rev. Williams also appeared in West End revues including Share My Lettuce with Maggie Smith, written by Bamber Gascoigne, and Pieces of Eight with Fenella Fielding. Please try again later. So when he was found dead in his flat at 62, it was generally assumed that yet. Her felt hat saved her from being concussed. Kenneth Williams reached the respectable age of 62 years. How Rudy Eugene Died: Date of Death, Age of Death, Birthday, and More! She takes the bus to Archway with her mate Nelly. The latter stages of his life were seen out on the chat-show circuit. Why was the poison in the bottle? He was born in 1926, forty-one years before the legalisation of homosexual acts between consenting adults. Known as the Babes in the Woods, Waine and Dennis became friends with Williams after Waine, an Oxford undergraduate, sent him an amusing fan letter. "Their relationship was so close that it was really Kenneth's only long-lasting love affair he adored Tom, and admired his education, but they were never physically intimate," says Stevens. Hurd died from a gunshot wound to the head, while Robertson survived, got picked up by a passing car, and went home to call the police.[7]. Flowers added to the memorial appear on the bottom of the memorial or here on the Flowers tab. They argue that he would not have bowed out without making arrangements for his beloved mother, Lou, who lived in an adjacent apartment near Regent's Park. The email does not appear to be a valid email address. I think it's the beginning of a long, long road to despair.". ", Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies. "Kenneth Williams impersonator and ex-Radio 1 D.J. Kenneth Williams Actor February 22 , 1926 Also Known For : Comedian Birth Place : London, England, United States of America Died On : April 15, 1988 Zodiac Sign : Pisces Kenneth Williams Biography, Life, Interesting Facts Kenneth Williams is a comedian and an actor Childhood And Early Life When Kenneth died from an overdose of barbiturates (my hoard of poison) washed down with alcohol, the coroner brought in an open verdict. after, Florrie Plume walked on the other side of the street. Add to your scrapbook. Williams was an exceptional actor, comedian, panel show guest and raconteur who was a ubiquitous presence on British radio and television for four decades. This memorial has been copied to your clipboard. so to bring her old It is the human heart we should be concerned with, and its intense vulnerability.. By the end they had virtually dried up. After they got out, Williams had them climb a fence and kneel down behind a nearby shed, and then got back into the car. ", Ben Evans, producer of the new film, to be shown on BBC4 next year, says: "We've tried to put down everything we know about his last day. [17], Prison escape, additional killings, and execution, List of most recent executions by jurisdiction, List of people executed in the United States in 2017, List of serial killers in the United States, "Arkansas Department of Corrections Death Row", "David Waters: Arkansas execution 38 years in the making", "ARKANSAS EXECUTIONS: Williams' death-row good deeds vied with vile ones", "USA: Execution set for crime committed at age 20: Kenneth Williams", "Gangster by 9, Murderer by 19, Minister by 26. He was self-taught and widely and well-read, he had reams of poetry by heart, and enjoyed showing off his erudition. This is a bit of history we've got here and I'm telling you, we are going to get in that flat and leave the picture and we're going to do it for . In a flash, a policeman plucked a hatpin from one I sit in my bedroom every night and write He was 62. How Norm MacDonald Died: Date of Death, Age of Death, Birthday, and More! And he was fed up. They had originally planned to execute eight inmates in 11 days as their supply of lethal injection drugs expires at the end of April, but four inmates won . Find out the cause of death and more exciting information regarding the death of this famous comedian. He lived alone all his adult life and had few close companions apart from his mother, and no significant romantic relationships. "I hit rock bottom, and most people would say that's where I belong", Williams said. This flower has been reported and will not be visible while under review. ). One day she was wheeling her [11], Williams said finding God got him to confess, writing "I take full responsibility for my actions and whatever consequences my peers see fit. Close this window, and upload the photo(s) again. cemeteries found in East Finchley, London Borough of Barnet, Greater London, England will be saved to your photo volunteer list. Please reset your password. In an interview recorded in 1968 while he was filming Carry On Up The Kyber in Snowdonia the comedian said his mum was from Pontnewydd. This account has been disabled. I'd listen fervently and think - she's got all the words wrong. But his death at 62 has been a mystery since the night it happened in the early hours of April 15, 1988. He died on 15 April 1988 in his flat. Godley reprised the role in the subsequent film adaptation, Cor, Blimey! for everything. (I am thinking particularly of his friend Michael Whittaker who would take him on drives from London to Lichfield, where Michael had once been a chorister, and where Kenneth could hold forth on the subject of another of his great heroes: Dr Johnson.) (directed at Sheila Hancock, Aimi MacDonald and others). He was the last of four men executed in Arkansas that year. [40] His diaries reveal that he had often had suicidal thoughts, and some of his earliest diaries record periodic feelings that there was no point in living. The colour coding was easier to crack. How Sandra Dee Died: Date of Death, Age of Death, Birthday, and More! Tiring of this reduced status, he joined Kenneth Horne in Beyond Our Ken (195864), and its sequel, Round the Horne (196568). Use the links under See more to quickly search for other people with the same last name in the same cemetery, city, county, etc. me from the days I played the king of some Ruritanian kingdom at school and, one Search above to list available cemeteries. You could say I was born rude as well as He was careful with his money, but until the 1980s, his earnings had never been spectacular. . Verify and try again. 'This article . Williams read his last words from a written statement held by a prison official: "I humbly extend my sincerest of apologies to the families I senselessly wronged and deprived of their loved ones. [22], Williams worked regularly in British film during the late 1950s, 1960s and 1970s, mainly in the Carry On series (195878) with its double entendre humour; and appeared in the series more than any other actor. Registered in England No. [6], Williams had Robertson drive through several dead-end streets around this time. "[4], In 1996, Williams was sentenced to five years in prison for first degree escape and second degree battery. Your Scrapbook is currently empty. You can customize the cemeteries you volunteer for by selecting or deselecting below. Waine and Dennis helped Stevens to unravel the background to many unexplored sections of the diaries, which Williams started keeping in 1942 and famously finished with a final dark entry on 14 April 1988, the night of his death, with the words "Oh what's the bloody point?" Michael Sheen, best known for his performance as Tony Blair in Channel 4's The Deal, will play Williams. [2], Rarely supervised, Williams started smoking marijuana at the age of 6, and joined the Gangster Disciples and started drinking beer at the age of 9. Prosecutors sought a death sentence for Williams, but the jury gave him a life sentence. Hurd said she was from Dallas and Robertson said he was from New Jersey. A little bit of Wales, Wales will be, Wales is Wales forever! How Ann Christy Died: Cause of Death, Age at Death, and More! Oops, something didn't work. After initially pulling over, he suddenly drove off. He would say terrible things about people, dreadful, hurtful, calumnious things, without necessarily meaning them, or, if meaning them, meaning them for the moment, or, if really meaning them, not meaning them to hurt. "[39] and the cause of death was an overdose of barbiturates. While in that unit he met Stanley Baxter, Peter Vaughan, Peter Nichols and John Schlesinger. He later abandoned and burned the car. SERVICE: Funeral: 11 a.m . That extraordinary voice continues to resonate, one of the most distinctive English sounds of our time. At the time of his death in 1988, no one outside his small circle of friends had an inkling of his torment. The execution drew attention after Kayla Greenwood, the daughter of Michael Greenwood, bought plane tickets for Williams' daughter, Jasmine Johnson, who he had not seen in 17 years, and his 3-year-old granddaughter, who he had never met, so they could fly from Washington State to Arkansas to meet with him for the last time. Try again later. it's always Lou who Piecing together the writing styles, Stevens realised that Williams appeared to be channelling different personalities as he wrote. My dad, Charlie, who was a hairdresser, was pretty free with the insults He then shot and killed another man and stole his truck several miles away from the prison, before unintentionally killing another man in a police chase in Missouri. How Mike Mentzer Died: Cause of Death, Age at Death, and More! How James O. Richardson Died: Date of Death, Age of Death, Birthday, and More! But with the posthumous publication of his diary in 1993 questions began to be asked. One evening after dinner, when he already had the table in a roar, he got to his feet, spun round, dropped his trousers and his pants and cried, Look! Edit a memorial you manage or suggest changes to the memorial manager. From the mid-1950s, Williams lived in a succession of small rented flats in central London. He lasted a year or two and then, one night in October 1962, took a concoction of cleaning fluid - carbon tetrachloride - and that was that. The inquest returned a verdict of death by misadventure. Continuing with this request will add an alert to the cemetery page and any new volunteers will have the opportunity to fulfill your request. Once I The sponsor of a memorial may add an additional. Kenneth Williams was pronounced dead at 11.05pm local time at the end of a 13-minute lethal injection that resulted in disturbing signs of distress on the part of the prisoner. He was in pain (oh, this bloody ulcer and spastic colon), he had given up smoking (a lifelong recreation), and he was waiting to go into hospital (how I HATE those places) for an operation he dreaded. Famously, the actor died in April 1988 from an overdose of barbiturates; many friends and colleagues concluded his death to be suicide, with Williams unable to face the 'invasive' stomach operation he was due to undergo for an ulcer just a short while later. She That includes mass murder. This drew for the first time on the full Williams archive of diaries and letters, which had been stored in a London bank for 15 years following publication of edited extracts. Have you read Twelfth Night? Williams then replied "I don't like the niggers from Dallas anyway," and started shooting the couple, emptying his revolver before driving off. One airmail letter sent to Italy by a depressed Williams after he dropped out of a holiday with them is typically revealing: "Living with someone always means a denial of self in SOME way and I suppose I have always known it was something I couldn't accomplish.