why do serial cheaters want to stay married

I believe he is now more open to not trusting anyone anymore. Ohh if I had known about the indiscretions my H had. Yet there were emails saying sorry I missed your call 2 days ago or sorry I didnt get to call you this weekendblah, blah, blah. In all honesty I am nervous a out replying, because this teeters dangerously close to blaming which I avoid at all costs. Before we know why they want to remain married, lets talk about a Serial Cheater. One-time cheaters, if they're truly remorseful, will own up to their mistakes. He may consider it a mistake, even if it keeps on happening. They do not want responsibility for their actions and their exes will mostly be discussed in a bad light. For those that dont know about the letter. Many Wives Think Their Cheating Husband Wants To Stay With Them For These Reasons: Many wives who doubt that their husband really wants to stay married will tell you that he's probably staying out of loyalty or because he doesn't want to lose money or financial possessions thorough a divorce. Marriages only exist because of the level of respect and commitment each partner has for the other. But once an addict, always an addict. Once they start making you doubt yourself, it could be a sign your partner is trying to get inside your head and make it so that you blame yourself for their "needing" to cheat. He is not worth your mental energy. My h refused to accept there were problems and talk. Serial cheaters like your husband and my ex like cake. But, dont let substances such as alcohol fool you. However, I would say I was naive and frankly, stupid. But, anytime I have dropped into work to leave homemade cookies and cakes for the staff, I do not get a lonely for another couple vibe from her at all. Serial cheaters dont think cheating is as big of a deal as one-time cheaters do. I could not have predicted the way this thread would go a year ago I am bowled over by your compassion! So being friendly and having people on her side would have helped, I think. 2010-2019 Emotional Affair Journey. A cheater's secrets can often be revealed through their recent calls list, in text messages on their phone, or a private folder in their email. Here is a quote from amazon about the book: At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. ago. Unstable emotional regulation. If youve enjoyed reading this article, let us know by commenting below and sharing it. But seriously, your Hs other woman was extremely manipulative and she knew how to use a mans innate need to be needed and to rescue a woman against him. They also may enjoy living two separate lives. Very cold, no consciouse that I ever saw. What Garrett is basically saying is that serial cheaters are either sociopaths who dont feel guilt or remorse about sleeping around, or theyve simply cheated so much that their brains have adapted to their sinful, adulterous ways, and they dont care anymore. They might disown him or distance themselves. If I call him o text him at work, he answers. He is just a guy who is extremely easy to work with a attempts to build harmony in his team. An inability to concentrate, which affects your work. They Keep Telling Themselves They Will Change. They found that what they term as sexual personality is the most likely factor to increase the likelihood that people will cheat. She doesnt feel bad about hoeing around behind her boyfriends back. I have found over my 4+ decades that I am unusual, complex and unique. Narcissists smell that out just like sharks smell blood. What's even more disturbing about cheaters is that not only do they know. In the world we now live in I believe introversion is looked at as being a little peculiar. "These are lies, of course, so that when they are not with you, they have a great story to draw from.". However, an affair can just be an affair if both partners are committed to restoring faith and honesty. It becomes part of the vernacular of the affair. It is hard to know for sure if he will cheat again, but most men who have cheated in the past will do it again. I admire you, I admire you for putting your best foot forward, and swallowing your pride, by sending a letter to your ap wife. Thats the truth. And by the way, I do not blame his other girlfriend for doing those things because I got to experience through my friend the level of mind-f****ing this guy used in order to keep his victims close at hand. There is a saying, once a cheater, always a cheater. Your partner shows no remorse or does not apologize. I agree with your h, 23 NOT 21. Thats our battle. Smart, but super shady. So, my husband is charming like that, but with everyone, even if they are 90-year-old men who are wheelchair bound. In order to understand why, we need to understand why married men cheat in the first place. When a serial cheater is caught, they will look for different ways to justify their behavior. So, yes, despite the wifes protestations, and the husbands promises it will stop when finally caught the fact is, it never will stopit will continue until the wife wises up and leaves.. Sodecide to tolerate it and live your life as a lie or, decide to finally take back your life and leave there is no other optionsMihaela, you are truly a fool!!!!! I am at a loss. I heard the conversation and I knew it was flattering bullshit coming from the other end of the line. Ad infinitum. What are some major events in Irelands history? Liar, cheater, just plain mean. Do you think during the affair started that the wife could have done things to stop it or did it need to run its course? She believed he was only with me because if the children, because she was so wonderful, why would he stay with the wicked wife, unless for the children. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. I lived with a cheater and all of this describes him to a T. I am done with that. HEY WAIT, isnt that what my own semi narcissist husband did to me???? But, I can bet you money that if he would have left to be with her, just being with her would be a hell worse than anything Dante could have imagined. Hugs to you. I believe the talk between the affair partners about how miserable their lives are with their spouses is a vital conversation to justify the affair. They are masters at seeming believable," Wish explained. They might have childhood issues where they feel unworthy of love and avoid intimacy. "Affairs happen for a variety of reasons," Tammy Nelson, PhD, certified sex therapist and an expert consultant for Ashley Madison, a dating site for married people, tells Bustle. These ow, who claim to be a good caring person, one that is praises herself to be a wonderful mother, yet does not care about the young children whos lives she tears apart, because her needs are more important and above that of the mms children. "It might really be just what you want to hear and not the truth," she says. This is the first time in a very long time we have worked together where he has actually given me the authority I had previously demanded. I still remember the wise words my h said right at the beginning, when the ap and I had to continue to work together. First I would start with a conversation with my husband. I think I would have been very upset from the get-go as soon as I saw that happening. I am also angered that your body literally had to get that sick and he still would not come clean when he saw you vomiting your guts out. I catch up with friends rarely, and just pick up where we left off when we do meet. Fast forward to the tenth time she hooks up with Prince Charmings best friend, and Cinderella doesnt give a single damn. I remember saying Ive learned a lot myself and about myself too. They may be more willing to put their relationships on the line. I remember when my husband told me that story about her very recently. But the problem started long before, when she dated and soon broke up with her college boyfriend because he was seeing other women. I hired her as my assistant but she did everything but assist me. I dont care how ignorant they are. I would recap her sins to date, and tell him you are compelled to take further action. Any information gives her power. Well everyone, just over two years ago, I probably though we would never have made it to this day, that was when the ea had started. Please realize I do not intend any of these questions in a demeaning way. One other trait I have that us kind of different is that Im an out of sight, out of mind kind of person. So she is not one to give up easily. the New York City-based relationship expert told INSIDER. However, this is a question only you can answer as every situation is different. Do it sister:). It was coincidental mix of timing and opportunity but the fact he ended up in rehab on this occasion and appears to be working on himself tells me he learned something this time which he hadnt learned before. I know my h ow, would never grow a conscience, she would never apologise, she will always believe that she was in the right to do what she did. Note: Recently, one of the readers asked whether or not there was a way to know if a person who cheated would be a repeat offender. He didnt get to go through all his explanations and get his ego stroked anymore. Being cheated on twice, or three times. You make a great point about how pigs get a bigger thrill of being in an affair with a non-pig than with a pig. The girlfriend of a married narcissist will hear a myriad of excuses for why he hasn't gone through with a divorce, all based around plausible deniability . The passion or excitement may be lacking in their marriage, even if everything else is going great. He may not put as much significance on a physical relationship. Oh yeah I think he saw the light but I think its because Mrs. MM said look here you tosser (LOL like that, its English, I know get your crazy self to rehab or Im divorcing you this time and taking EVERYTHING! Married men have affairs for many reasons. If she has any sense of shame at all, she will at least feel embarrassed. He is extremely cautious. I would never intentionally say anything to hurt someone, well yes I would if they are a total asshole but certainly not anyone really trying to do right. They know that most men want to be a hero, and as long as they show a damsel in distress act, then the man, wont even look at them. But, he is still a naturally likable guy and many women misread it. On the topic of serial cheaters, I have always been completely baffled as to why my AP was the way he was. You and Linda, gave me hope that we could make it, that month my h stopped his contact, after he knew I was done. (Complete opposite of myself) Well, that was the guy who ended up cheating and then I left for good. Ohhh really, well this man has just been separated from his wife and she starts having an affair with you, wtf, what do you expect this man to do and say to her, while his emotions are running high. Robert Weiss of Psych Central defines sexual addiction as an addiction that causes an individual to feel an intense need for sex. They will. What hes learned is most time people have their own agendas and sometimes they are measuring him up on how big a dupe hes going to be. As for your older female colleague and her recommendations, she is right and it has always been my attitude, even prior to being married. So some are very good at getting different people to respond, and they can cheat. Its not paranoia or drama on your part, its real red flags. They might justify their. I never questioned why he moved to my area. I also keep A LOT close to my chest. Oh, no! By the way, my best friend of thirty years said the same thing about taking the B out to the parking lot to settle it once and for all. Imagine how devastating it is to learn that your partner, the person in whom you had complete trust and to whom you pledged your, A sense of unrealness, this cant be true, Everything that happened before was just a lie.